Let's All Go To the Movies

Diagnosis: Holiday boredom

Prescription: Holiday movie season!

So the holiday season is a wonderful time to see family and old friends and enjoy all of the festivities. But let’s face it, there’s only so much of that you can handle before you start to get a little bored with it. You need some distractions, some high-quality entertainment. So I took a quick gander at the upcoming movies for the holidays, and here’s what I could make out of them:

Avatar

This is supposed to be the huge blockbuster of the season. To be honest, I wasn’t impressed at first. A few months ago, I saw one of those shorter teaser trailers for it, and my initial thought was “why are people going to pay upwards of 15 bucks to see crazy blue CGI characters run around for two and a half hours?”

The thought still lingers in the back of my mind, but I don’t think that kind of rational questioning can overcome the insane amount of money that went into the production and promotion of this movie. This is bound to be a hit, and I'll confess that I’m looking up tickets to see it in IMAX as I write this post.

Still, I can’t help but be a little doubtful. From the looks of it, it appears to be some sort of futuristic, dystopian tale of imperialism gone wrong, ultimately leading into a tragically one-sided battle scene (e.g. The Last Samurai and Planet of the Apes (the Mark Suckberg edition)). This is something we’ve seen before, and I think it only works if the audience becomes invested in the plight of the losing side. I’m just not sure I’ll get that kind of connection with blue CGI characters, even if blue is my favorite color. Regardless, it should be worth it if only for the special effects that let me see awesome fight scenes between the indigenous blue folk and whatever man-made machines Earth has created in the future.

As with most action blockbusters, it’s best to just enjoy the show and go with it. Try not to think about it too much or get caught up in thoughts like “Hey, isn't this kind of imperialism sorta like what the U.S. did in Operation Bootstrap?” or “Say, isn’t Michelle Rodriguez Puerto Rican?” Rather, just get involved in heated debates afterwards about “who would you do” scenarios between Michelle or her avatar.

Sidebar: This would be the most ideal “overheard in [insert metropolis]” ever about the movie Avatar:

Three stoners walk past a movie poster for Avatar

Stoner 1: “You know what that movie’s about? It’s about aliens, man. We’re the aliens. We’re the savages.”

Stoner 2: “Wait, that movie’s about that?”

Stoner 3: “Yeah man that movie’s about that. You didn't know that? This country is founded-- It was founded by people who were into aliens, man. George Washington, man, he was in a cult, and the cult was into aliens, man. You didn't know that?"

Stoner 2: "No."

Stoner 3: "Oh man. They were way into that type of stuff, man."

Sadly, I’m pretty sure this scenario only exists within the depths of my imagination.

Sherlock Holmes

Okay, I want you to picture one of those action packed trailers. There’s stuff blowin up all over the place with fire explosions and intense music, the voice-over is more exaggerated than Pablo Francisco’s movie announcer impersonation for Little Tortilla Boy, there’s a fight scene high atop some precipice, and every other scene has someone getting punched or shirts are ripping off or gratuitous cleavage is being shown. Then, at the end, the letters of the movie start plunging out onto the screen one by one. “S-!” “H-!” You await in high anticipation to figure out what this movie is. You have to see it. You must see it. You’ll do anything to find out what it is. Then, like clouds parting, the title is revealed majestically: “SHERLOCK HOLMES”

…

W-effin-T-F?

Sherlock Holmes? The fictional British character that up until now has been the main inspiration for Wishbone episodes and The Great Mouse Detective? That Sherlock Holmes?

But wait, what’s that you say? It’s starring Robert Downey, Jr.? The guy who got an Academy Award nomination for his role in Tropic Thunder? Oh, okay. I’ll consider watching it now. Say what you want about him and his characters or his past with substance abuse, but the guy’s got some skills. I mean, an Oscar nod for an understandably controversial role in Tropic Thunder pretty much shows he’s an alchemist.

Suddenly, all those explosions and fight scenes and glimpses of Rachel McAdams from the trailer seem a lot more interesting.

Up in the Air

(not to be confused with the other cinematic masterpiece of a similar name)

Speaking of alchemy, I think the producers of Juno have figured out the perfect formula for success at the box office during the Christmas season:

1) Start with a non-cliché plot about romance

2) Recruit a talented actor/actress respected in the independent film community that can carry the lead role

3) Surround them by a supporting cast of up and comers

4) Introduce a theme of disillusionment

5) Add a touch of cuteness into a happy ending to mesh with the holiday sentimentality

POW!

You got yourself a holiday box office success. It didn’t cost you hundreds of millions of dollars but will probably gain a good amount in the box office. It’s actually pretty fool-proof when you think about it. Remembering Juno’s huge success, it had all the right elements - a feel-good movie that wasn’t sappy and could pull in people from across the spectrum.

Up in the Air seemingly follows in its footsteps with all of the same elements. The plot is a guy flying around the country laying people off. George Clooney, known for his ability to lead in huge hits like Ocean’s Eleven, or use his talents for the sake of independent projects like Syriana, feels like a perfect fit. The supporting cast makes you think “where have I seen that girl before” or “oh, she was that one from the Departed” (just like how everyone saw Michael Cera in Juno and thought “oh, it’s that kid from Arrested Development). The plot naturally lets the disillusionment set in when the main character’s lifestyle leaves him alone in life, and the story unfolds from there. All according to the formula.

So remember to take a break from the shopping and the presents and the religious observance (or whatever you got going on) and enjoy some quality time in a dark theater with a bunch of other strangers watching a movie. You'll be glad you did.

-DR